I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
