she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
