Three words: puerto rican gang bang
too bad you live with your parents still
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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