What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
