Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize