at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Found your dick twin last night
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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