She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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