then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize