i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
