You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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