I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
