physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
