My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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