Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
