I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My dick has a subreddit
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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