I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
