Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
