It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
