at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
