he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
