wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
