you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I seem to have left my pride at pride
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
