Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
