i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
