she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
