I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
