omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
