If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
