i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize