It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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