Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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