Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
