Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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