WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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