Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize