Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
