so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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