Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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