come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
