your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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