Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
