He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
this boner is exhausting
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
