I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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