My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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