I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
