To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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