her vagine was all disorganized.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
