Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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