I think my fart just growled at me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
