the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
