She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
