yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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