So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
