he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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