he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize