I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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