Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
