Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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