More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
