the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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