I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
