I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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