why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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