I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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