Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
